Obstacles to Creating Community in the Local Church: Fear of Vulnerability

We’re moving down the list of obstacles to creating community in the local church. I’ve written about the passivity by design, the way most local churches design their worship services to be passive, allowing for little interaction between people. Last week I focused on the time constraints that leaders and congregants often impose on worship services through their preferences and assumptions. In this week’s article, I want to focus on why the vast majority in local churches are comfortable with the status quo and resistant to change.

Fear of Vulnerability

This is the obstacle that continues to enable all the others. Think about it for a moment. When in the present-day format of the church worship service do people have to be vulnerable? Not during the singing, unless they feel somewhat embarrassed to do so and sing anyway. Not during the sermon, because the pastor is not talking directly to them individually. Not during a time of prayer, because usually during such a time they do not have to pray out loud. Probably the closest they come to any vulnerability comes at the door when they are greeted.

The reason for the lack of vulnerability built into worship services is because church leaders understand this fear and don’t want to risk exacerbating it by placing people in positions where they may feel vulnerable. They want people to show up, not to avoid attending because they fear being vulnerable. So over time, worship services have evolved to exclude, or at least greatly lessen, vulnerability, without much thought on the implications of this to the community, or at least what was originally designed to be a community.

This evolution has followed that of our culture. Increasingly, people value their privacy and go to great lengths to maintain it. Where it once was common for homes to have front porches, homes increasingly were built with stoops on the front of the house and decks on the back. Privacy fences replaced the iconic picket fence. People arrive home from work in American suburbia and drive straight into their garages and close the doors. In many places, neighbors know very little about the people who live next to them or across the street.  Even in large cities, many do not know the people living beside, above, or below them. Instead, people think they can achieve community online and so spend much of their time in that space.

Obviously, there are exceptions, but by and large this is the state of our culture. And much of it revolves around the fear of being vulnerable. It is often said about Christianity that in its purest form, it is countercultural. This is evident in the 1stCentury Church. It was far from perfect, but followers of Jesus adhered to different norms than the broader culture. And that drew the attention of people. They were caring for widows and orphans, two groups ignored by the 1st Century culture. They were sharing their wealth and possessions with those in need. They were courageous and risked their lives to proclaim the Gospel and to follow in the way of Jesus.

Yet, today, instead of the church being countercultural, it reflects the culture and seeks to accommodate it. Most would agree, however, that our culture is not very healthy. People are lonely, addicted, angry, and feeling a lack of meaning and purpose. It is not a culture that the present-day church should seek to emulate or accommodate. I have often said this, but I know it didn’t originate with me; I know I heard someone else utter it: To love someone is to give them what they need, not necessarily what they want.

Since the advent of the seeker-friendly church movement, churches have intentionally sought to attract people by giving them (within limits) what they want in order to persuade them to return rather than providing them with what they truly need.

What people in our culture and those attending our churches really need to learn is what it means to follow Jesus and to mature into the men and women God created them to be. Jesus provided the template and the 1st Century Church implemented it—discipleship in the midst of community. And true community cannot exist without vulnerability.

By trying to alleviate the fear of vulnerability through avoidance, churches are preventing the very community development that is essential for discipleship and spiritual growth. Churches instead must lean into this fear and strategize how to effectively overcome it. It won’t be easy and many will possibly leave because of it. However, if we truly love the people of our culture, then we need to do everything possible to provide them with what they need rather than merely what they prefer.

Next week, I’ll highlight the shortcuts many churches take in an attempt to create a sense of community, but which rarely lead to the real thing.

Until next time . . .

© Jim Musser 2026