A Couple of Needs the Church is Leaving Unfulfilled

I ended my last post with a question: Is your church experience truly meeting your deepest spiritual needs? Are there things you long for that are lacking in your church experience?  No one responded. I’m not really surprised given the holiday weekend and the fact that my Substack is new.

Allow me to tell you what I’ve heard from people I have talked with over the past few months, and even further back. I have been hearing similar things for quite a while now, Numerous people say they long for true community. The church is great at bringing people together. It’s the depth of the community that is the challenge. Many find it shallow. People, though around many others, feel unknown and unheard regarding their struggles and joys.

Another issue is the worship music. Many find it too loud, too performative, and lacking spiritual depth. To many it seems more like attending a Christian concert than being led towards worshipping God through singing. Songs that are sung typically are written for performance rather than congregational singing, And often the keys are too difficult for the average person to sing, so they don’t.

Let me address these two longings which people say aren’t being met. With the music, I have the same issue. During my campus ministry days, I attended an annual student conference where a worship band led the singing. I had to leave the room because it was so loud. I said at the time, and I still believe it, worshipping God through music shouldn’t be painful. However, it often is, particularly to people over 50. In the church in which I participate, people’s smart watches often sound the high decibel alert.

If we are truly a body, then all parts need to be considered. I have heard the argument that louder music is a way to attract younger people. The question is, at what cost to the older people whose hearing is more sensitive? Should the church just insist they sit and tolerate it or leave?

Also a challenge in this age of performative singing, is for the music to be singable by everyone. We worship corporately; thus, we should sing together, not just listen. Yet, many worship leaders choose songs that are currently popular on Christian music charts without much consideration if they can be congregationally sung. This I believe further isolates the band from the people in the seats. They’re the performers; we’re the listeners.

It seems there needs to be a rethinking of what worship through singing is meant to do. If, as I believe it is, singing is to express our praise and thanks to the Lord, then we all need to be able to participate regardless of our singing ability and without a threat of hearing loss.

The sense of community issue is a continual challenge. Many churches do a fantastic job of making people feel welcome, with greeters at the door smiling and welcoming people to the service. Yet, that may be all they receive in terms of community on a Sunday morning. Visitors may receive smiles and nods from those around them, but few will feel a deep interest in their presence. Long-timers likely have relationships with other people in the church, but those relationships are likely to be based on common interests (golf, sports teams, politics, church committees, etc.). I’ve been in many a fellowship hall and the conversations are spiritually shallow or non-existent. Again, most are focused on periphery topics. And to be perfectly honest, I have been a participant in those and rarely sought to lead the conversations deeper.

I remember one time standing in the fellowship hall with my wife in a church we attended for several years. We weren’t well-known and we just stood in the middle of the room while people talked and drank their coffee. Eventually, we made our way out of the room to our car. No one ever spoke to us. It was a very lonely time because, so few expressed an interest in getting to know us. Again, I have been guilty of the same thing. I am a strong introvert, so initiating conversations takes work and energy. I naturally prefer to interact with people I know and not to ask questions that go deeper but may risk their discomfort.

Think about how many in your church truly know you, and how many you truly know. We can gather weekly together but can still have no real sense of community.

Many studies find that Americans are among the loneliest in the world. It really should be a different reality in the church, but I don’t think it is.

I believe there are reasons for this, and I want to delve into those more in my next post. Again, I welcome your comments and questions.

Until next time….

© Jim Musser 2026